How to Find Moments of Solitude as a Parent

2 July 2025

Let’s be real. The word “solitude” can sound like a luxury for most parents—something reserved for spa weekends or those rare, magical moments before the kids wake up. If you're a parent, especially one juggling work, house duties, and a seemingly endless cycle of “Mom! Dad! I need you!”, you might be wondering, “What even is alone time anymore?”

But here’s the thing—solitude isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s essential. It’s not about becoming a monk in the mountains or escaping to a cabin in the woods (although wouldn’t that be nice?). It’s about carving out small, meaningful pockets of quiet that can help you breathe, reset, and reconnect with yourself.

Ready to figure out how to make it happen—without guilt or booking a flight to Bali? Let’s dive into how to find moments of solitude as a parent.

Why Solitude Matters (Especially for Parents)

Being a parent is constant. You’re always “on.” Whether it’s feeding, cleaning, soothing, teaching, entertaining—it’s a job that doesn’t clock out at 5 P.M. That’s exactly why finding solitude matters so much. Not for the sake of selfishness, but for your mental clarity, emotional balance, and general sanity.

Think of solitude like recharging your phone. You wouldn’t let your battery die, right? The same goes for you. When you give yourself a slice of silence, you don’t just benefit—you become a better parent, partner, and human being.

The Guilt Trap: Why We Avoid Alone Time

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: guilt. The moment you think about taking time for yourself, does that little voice pop up in your head whispering, “You should be doing laundry” or “Your kids need you more”? Yep, we’ve all been there.

Here’s the deal—you can’t pour from an empty cup. Giving yourself even 15 minutes of uninterrupted peace isn’t neglect; it’s necessary. You deserve it. Your kids will survive. And in fact, they’ll thrive because you’re showing them that self-care matters too.

1. Wake Up Earlier (Yes, Even 15 Minutes Makes a Difference)

Alright, I know what you’re thinking—"I already don’t sleep enough." But hear me out.

Waking up just 15 minutes before the chaos starts can be a game-changer. That mini window, when the house is still silent, becomes yours. Whether you use it to stretch, sip coffee without reheating it five times, or just stare out the window—those few minutes can feel like a breath of fresh air.

It’s not about becoming part of some 4 A.M. self-help club. It’s about making a small shift that brings you calm before the day kicks into full gear.

2. Embrace “Moments” Instead of “Hours”

Do you ever feel like if you can’t block off a full hour, it’s not worth it? That mindset has to go. Solitude isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality.

A quick five-minute break while the kids are entertained with a puzzle? That counts. Sitting in your car for a minute before walking into the house? That’s solitude, too.

Collect these mini-moments throughout the day. They add up. It’s like finding spare change in your pocket—every little bit helps.

3. Create a Solitude Signal

If your family tends to barge in anytime you’re breathing, you might need to set a boundary. And no, it doesn’t have to mean locking yourself in the bathroom (been there, done that).

Try creating a “Do Not Disturb” signal. Maybe it’s a special hat, a door sign, your headphones—anything that tells the family, “Hey, I’m in recharge mode.” Teach your kids that when they see the signal, it’s your solo time.

It won’t work overnight, but consistency is key. And let’s be honest, even toddlers can learn when their shows are on—it’s all about repetition.

4. Turn Mundane Tasks into Me-Time

Here’s a secret: solitude doesn’t have to be fancy. It can sneak into your everyday routines—if you let it.

Washing dishes? Pop in your earbuds and listen to a meditative playlist or a podcast that makes you laugh. Grocery shopping alone? That counts! Instead of rushing through it like a chore, slow down. Make it an experience.

Fold laundry while watching your favorite show, go for a short walk (even if it’s just around the block), or sweep the floor while daydreaming. These “boring” moments can transform when you frame them as opportunities to unplug.

5. Use Nap Time or Screen Time (Guilt-Free!)

If your kids nap or have daily screen time, leverage that sacred window. And before you say, “But that’s when I clean/cook/email,” consider saving just part of that time for yourself.

Seriously, the dishes can wait 15 minutes. Sit down. Breathe. Journal. Scroll TikTok. Do nothing. You’re allowed.

The truth? Self-care doesn’t always look Pinterest-perfect. Sometimes, it’s sitting in silence, staring at a wall, and loving every second of it.

6. Schedule Solitude on the Calendar

We schedule doctor’s appointments, grocery runs, and school pickups—but when was the last time you scheduled time for yourself?

If it’s not on the calendar, it’s way too easy to skip. Start small. Schedule just 20 minutes a week—yes, that’s it. Respect it like you would any appointment.

Bonus tip: Let your partner or support system know in advance. “Hey, Tuesday night from 8–8:30, I’m off-duty.” The more you do it, the more everyone adjusts.

7. Rethink “Self-Care Myths”

There’s a bizarre idea that self-care has to be extravagant—like massages, facials, or weekend getaways. But real solitude? It’s much simpler than that.

Self-care can mean lying on the floor and doing absolutely nothing. Or hiding in your closet with chocolate (no judgment). It can be writing in a journal, taking deep breaths, doodling, or just zoning out.

Drop the fantasy version and embrace what actually restores you.

8. Trade Time with Your Partner or Co-Parent

If you co-parent or have a partner, you’ve got a built-in opportunity for time swaps. Create a system where both of you get solo time during the week. Be fair, be firm, and stick to it.

It’s teamwork, not a competition. The goal? Both of you survive and thrive. When both parents have space to breathe, the whole family benefits.

9. Outsource and Delegate What You Can

Let’s say it louder for the people in the back: You don’t have to do everything. If there are tasks you can delegate—do it.

Hire a babysitter for an hour. Ask grandparents to watch the kids occasionally. Order groceries online. Let the cleaning slide one day. You don’t get a trophy for exhaustion.

What you do get? More time to be with yourself. And that’s more valuable than a perfect kitchen.

10. Lean on Your Village

Solitude doesn’t always mean you’re doing it all alone. Sometimes, finding peace means asking for help.

Text a friend and say, “Can I drop the kids off for an hour?” Join a local mom group and team up for solo time swaps. You watch their kids for an hour one day, and they return the favor.

We weren’t meant to parent in isolation. Reaching out isn’t weakness—it’s smart planning.

Making Solitude a Habit (Not a One-Time Thing)

Here’s the hard truth: You won’t accidentally find time for yourself. You have to make it. But the more you do, the more natural it becomes.

You’ll start to notice the little windows of quiet. You’ll crave them instead of resenting the busyness. And, slowly but surely, you’ll build a rhythm where solitude fits into your parenting life—without guilt.

And that’s the ultimate goal: a life where you’re not just surviving parenthood but enjoying it—with your own identity still intact.

Final Thoughts

Parenting is beautiful and chaotic and all-consuming. But you don’t have to lose yourself in the process. Even in the midst of Legos on the floor and the never-ending snack requests, you can find peace.

Solitude isn’t selfish—it’s survival. It’s your oxygen mask. And the more you prioritize it, the more room you create for patience, joy, and connection.

So next time you feel overwhelmed, remember: You’re allowed to hit pause. Even for five minutes. Because before you were “Mom” or “Dad,” you were you—and that person still matters.