Can Permissive Parenting Lead to Entitlement? The Full Picture

17 June 2025

Parenting is one wild ride, isn't it? One minute you're celebrating your toddler saying their first word, and the next, you're wondering why your teenager thinks they deserve the latest iPhone "just because." Every parent wants the best for their child, but the way we parent can drastically shape the adults our kids become.

A popular parenting style that’s often debated is permissive parenting. You’ve probably heard the term tossed around in parenting forums, or maybe even in your friend circle. It's often portrayed as the “cool parent” approach—relaxed, easygoing, and indulgent. But here's the million-dollar question:

Can permissive parenting lead to entitlement?

Grab your coffee (or tea, if that’s your thing), and let’s take a deep dive into the full picture—no judgment, just honest, relatable talk.

What Exactly Is Permissive Parenting?

Let’s start with a quick breakdown. Permissive parenting is one of the four parenting styles identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind. The other three are authoritative, authoritarian, and neglectful.

Permissive parents are typically warm, nurturing, and responsive. That's the good stuff! But they also tend to avoid setting firm boundaries or enforcing consistent rules. They’re more likely to say “yes” than “no” and want to be their child’s friend rather than the “mean” parent.

Picture this: A dad watching his 6-year-old daughter pour syrup all over her spaghetti at dinner and chuckling instead of stopping her. Or a mom who gives in to every tantrum at the store by handing over a toy just to avoid a scene.

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there at some point—we’re all human.

What Does Entitlement Look Like in Kids?

Before we link the two—permissive parenting and entitlement—let's get real clear on what entitlement in kids actually looks like.

A child with a sense of entitlement might:

- Constantly expect rewards without working for them
- Throw a fit if things don’t go their way
- Struggle with the word “no”
- Expect special treatment, always
- Show little empathy for others’ needs or feelings

Basically, it’s the “I-deserve-it-just-because” mentality.

Now, let’s be honest—most kids will show these behaviors at some point. That’s normal. But when entitlement becomes a pattern rather than a passing phase, that’s when it’s more than just a kid being a kid.

So, Can Permissive Parenting Lead to Entitlement?

Here’s the short answer: Yes, it can—but it's not a guarantee.

Let’s break it down.

Permissive parenting often means fewer rules, less discipline, and more indulgence. When children grow up thinking they can have whatever they want, whenever they want, without consequences or effort, they might start to expect life to always bend to their will.

That’s a classic recipe for entitlement.

But here’s where it gets interesting—permissiveness on its own isn't always the villain. It’s the consistency and context surrounding that permissiveness that really makes the difference.

Why Permissiveness Alone Isn’t the Whole Problem

Imagine this: You let your child stay up late on the weekends, allow extra screen time when they’re sick, or buy them candy after a long day at school. That doesn’t instantly make you a permissive parent or doom your kid to a life of entitlement.

What matters is the underlying pattern.

If the child grows up in a home where:

- Rules change based on their mood,
- Their wants always override others’ needs,
- Effort isn’t required, yet rewards are constant,

… then entitlement becomes more likely.

But if you set loving boundaries and explain your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ decisions along the way, even those little indulgences won’t spoil them. Kids thrive on structure—even if they tell you otherwise with a dramatic eye roll.

Common Traps Permissive Parents Fall Into

Let’s keep it real. Permissive parenting often comes from a good place. No one wakes up and says, “Today I will raise an entitled child.”

Here are some common (and very relatable) reasons parents fall into the permissive trap:

1. Fear of Conflict

Let’s face it—saying “no” can feel like stepping on a Lego barefoot. It hurts. So some parents avoid it altogether just to keep the peace. But short-term peace can lead to long-term challenges.

2. Guilt

Working long hours? Missed a school play? It’s tempting to make up for it with gifts or leniency. But love isn’t measured in stuff or screen time.

3. Wanting to Be Liked

You want your kids to see you as the “fun parent,” not the enforcer. But kids don’t need a buddy—they need a parent who guides them, even when it’s not popular.

4. Overcompensating for Your Own Childhood

Maybe you were raised in a strict, authoritarian household and promised yourself you’d never do the same. It’s understandable to swing the other way—but sometimes the pendulum swings too far.

The Long-Term Impact of Entitlement

So what happens if the entitlement trend continues unchecked?

As these kids grow into adults, they might struggle with:

- Handling disappointment
- Working hard without immediate rewards
- Taking responsibility for their actions
- Maintaining healthy relationships
- Understanding empathy and compromise

In adult life, jobs don’t just get handed to you, teachers don’t give A’s for effort alone, and not everyone gets a trophy. The world has rules, and learning that early can save a lot of heartache later.

Finding the Sweet Spot: Balanced Parenting

Okay—so we’ve talked about what not to do. But what’s the alternative?

Say hello to authoritative parenting—not to be confused with authoritarian. An authoritative parent sets clear boundaries, enforces rules, but also shows empathy, listens, and adapts.

Here’s how you can strike a healthy balance:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Kids feel safe with structure—even if they complain about it. Boundaries teach self-control and respect.

2. Follow Through

If you say, “No dessert unless you eat your veggies,” don’t cave when the begging begins. Consistency is key.

3. Encourage Effort, Not Just Results

Praise them for trying, not just winning. When they learn that effort earns praise, not just success, they start building resilience.

4. Say “No”—Lovingly

There’s power in a kind, firm “no.” It teaches that not everything is negotiable, and that’s okay.

5. Model Gratitude and Accountability

Kids watch more than they listen (unfortunately). Show them what it looks like to say thank you, own your mistakes, and show up even when it’s hard.

What If You’ve Already Been a Bit Permissive?

Hey, no shame here. We’re all learning as we go. If you’re reading this and thinking, “Uh-oh, I think I’ve already set a few entitlement traps,” don’t panic.

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.

You can start making small changes today:

- Start setting limits—communicate them clearly and kindly.
- Let your kiddos experience consequences (natural or logical ones).
- Reflect as a family. Talk about gratitude, effort, and responsibility at the dinner table.

Kids are incredibly adaptable. They may resist change at first, but with consistency and love, they’ll adjust. You’ve got this.

Wrapping It All Up

So, can permissive parenting lead to entitlement? It sure can—but it doesn’t have to.

Permissiveness, when sprinkled with structure, consistency, and genuine connection, doesn’t necessarily create entitled kids. But unchecked indulgence and lack of boundaries? That’s when entitlement might sneak in like an uninvited guest at your family barbecue.

At the end of the day, parenting is all about balance. We walk a tightrope between protecting and preparing our children. And while it’s tempting to say “yes” to avoid a meltdown or to keep the peace, sometimes the most loving thing we can say is “no.”

Your job isn’t to make your kids happy 24/7. It’s to guide them into becoming kind, grateful, responsible human beings.

And you’re doing better than you think.