How Far Is Too Far? A Millennial Parent's Reckoning With Body Positivity

April 28, 2026 - 05:01

As a millennial who came of age during the height of toxic diet culture—the era of low-fat everything, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," and glossy magazine covers promising the "bikini body" in two weeks—I was determined to break the cycle for my children. I vowed that my kids would never hear me criticize my own thighs, never witness a crash diet, and never absorb the message that their worth is tied to their pant size. But lately, I've been asking myself a difficult question: Have I taken body positivity too far?

In my quest to shield my children from the damaging messages that haunted my own adolescence, I may have swung the pendulum too hard in the opposite direction. I've become hypervigilant about every food comment, every mention of exercise, every offhand remark about appearance. When my daughter asked if she looked pretty in her dress, I immediately launched into a lecture about how her value isn't in her looks—rather than simply saying, "Yes, you look lovely." When my son wanted to play sports to "get stronger," I worried he was developing an unhealthy fixation on his body, when in reality, he just wanted to be better at soccer.

The truth is, I've created a home where body talk is so taboo that my children may now feel they can't discuss their bodies at all. I've replaced one form of anxiety with another. Instead of fearing fatness, my kids might now fear saying the wrong thing about their own growing bodies. I've learned that true body positivity isn't about erasing all conversation about appearance—it's about teaching balance, self-compassion, and the understanding that our bodies are both worthy of care and far from the most interesting thing about us. The pendulum needs to find its center.