What to Do When Your Child Feels Unsafe at School

22 November 2025

Parenting is a rollercoaster. One minute you’re helping your child tie their shoes, and the next, you’re navigating serious issues like ensuring they feel safe at school. It's one thing when school is a place of learning, laughter, and growth. But when it becomes a source of anxiety or fear for your child? That’s a game-changer.

Hearing your child say, “I don’t feel safe at school,” can hit you like a ton of bricks. You’ll feel angry, confused, maybe even guilty. But you don’t have to navigate this alone. Let’s dive into actionable steps you can take to address this sensitive issue and help your child feel secure.

Recognize the Signs That Something’s Wrong

First things first: How do you even know your child feels unsafe at school? Often, kids don’t outright say, “Hey, Mom/Dad, I’m afraid to go to school.” Instead, the signs might be subtle.

- Sudden Changes in Behavior: Is your once-chatty kid now closed off or irritable?
- Physical Symptoms: Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or complaints of being “sick” can actually be stress in disguise.
- Avoidance: Are they begging to stay home or developing sudden “forgetfulness” about homework?
- Sleep Disturbances: Nightmares or trouble sleeping could be their subconscious expressing fear.

If your child shows any of these signs, it’s time to dig deeper. Don’t ignore your gut—kids rarely just “snap out of it.”

Start the Conversation

Talking to your child about their fears isn’t always easy. Sure, it might feel like pulling teeth at first, but this step is absolutely necessary.

Sit them down at a time when they’re relaxed—maybe after dinner or during a quiet car ride. You could start with something light like, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit off after school. Want to tell me what’s up?”

Pro tip: Avoid yes/no questions. Instead, go for open-ended ones like:
- “What’s been the hardest part of school lately?”
- “Is there anyone or anything at school that makes you nervous?”

Show that you’re there to listen, not lecture. Sometimes kids just need to feel heard before they’re willing to open up.

Identify the Root Cause

Once your child starts talking, your job is to pinpoint the problem. “Feeling unsafe” could mean so many things—it’s like peeling an onion, one layer at a time. Here’s what you might uncover:

1. Bullying

This is one of the most common reasons children feel unsafe. Bullying doesn’t always involve physical harm—it could be verbal abuse, exclusion, or even cyberbullying.

2. Academic Pressure

Sometimes, the fear isn’t about people but performance. If they’re struggling to keep up in class or feeling embarrassed about their grades, school can feel like a war zone.

3. Unsafe Physical Environment

Is there a genuine safety concern in the school building? Maybe broken fences, dim hallways, or unsafe playground equipment are the culprits.

4. Negative Teacher Interactions

Teachers should be a source of support, not stress. If a teacher is overly critical, dismissive, or harsh, your child might dread going to class.

5. Friend Drama

Kids are navigating friendships on top of everything else. Falling out with a bestie or being ignored by a group can feel like the end of the world to them.

Once you identify what’s going on, you’ll know how to take the next step.

Take Action: Advocate for Your Child

Here’s where you switch into superhero mode. Your child needs you to step up and be their advocate. Depending on the issue, here’s what you can do:

1. Communicate with Teachers and Staff

Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher, school counselor, or principal. Share what your child is experiencing and insist on a plan to address the issue. Be firm but respectful—it’s a team effort.

For example: “My child has mentioned feeling unsafe due to bullying during lunch. How can we work together to ensure they feel protected?”

2. Document Everything

If the situation involves ongoing bullying or harassment, keep a record of incidents. Write down dates, times, and details of what’s happening. Having documentation strengthens your case if you need to escalate things.

3. Involve Authorities if Necessary

If the school isn’t taking the issue seriously, don’t hesitate to contact the district office or even local authorities. Serious threats or physical harm require immediate action.

Empower Your Child with Tools to Cope

While you’re working on the external issues, it’s also important to equip your child with tools to feel safer and more confident.

1. Build Their Confidence

Encourage them to participate in activities they enjoy—sports, art, music, or anything that makes them feel good about themselves. Confidence can be a powerful shield against fear.

2. Teach Them Problem-Solving Skills

Role-play scenarios with your child so they know how to respond to challenging situations. For example:
- “If someone’s teasing you, what can you say back?”
- “Who can you talk to if you feel scared?”

3. Develop a Safety Plan

Work with your child to create a simple plan for what they should do when they feel unsafe at school. Maybe it’s finding a trusted adult, going to the office, or calling you.

4. Boost Their Emotional Resilience

Talk about how feeling scared or unsure is normal sometimes, but it’s how we respond that matters. Help them identify ways to calm themselves, whether through deep breathing, journaling, or even squeezing a stress ball.

When School Changes Can’t Solve the Problem

In some cases, even the best efforts won’t fix the problem, and staying in that environment could harm your child’s mental health. If that’s the case, it’s okay to consider alternatives.

1. Switch Schools

A fresh start in a new environment could be just what your child needs. Look for schools with strong anti-bullying programs and a supportive culture.

2. Explore Homeschooling

If the school environment is too overwhelming, homeschooling is an option worth exploring. It offers flexibility and a one-on-one learning experience.

3. Seek Professional Help

If your child’s fear has escalated to anxiety or other mental health concerns, a therapist can provide valuable tools and support.

The Importance of Being Your Child’s Safe Space

Above all, remember this: You are your child’s anchor. When the world feels shaky, they need you to be rock-solid.

Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel scared, angry, or confused. But also remind them that you’re in their corner, ready to fight for their safety and happiness.

When you model resilience and empathy, you're teaching them not just to survive tough situations, but to overcome them. That’s a lesson they’ll carry for life.

Final Thoughts

When your child feels unsafe at school, it can feel overwhelming—for both of you. But with patience, persistence, and a whole lot of love, you can navigate through this. Trust your instincts, lean on resources, and remind your child that no matter what, you’ve got their back.

Remember, their safety—emotional, physical, and mental—is what truly matters. Together, you’ll face this challenge head-on and come out stronger on the other side.