Raising a Toddler with a Growth Mindset

6 October 2025

Raising a toddler is no walk in the park—unless that park is full of tantrums, missed naps, mysterious sticky substances, and endless curiosity. But here's the secret sauce: steering your little human toward a growth mindset early on is one of the best gifts you can give them. It’s like planting a seed that grows into a confidence-boosting, failure-embracing, curious little tree. Sounds great, right?

Let’s dig into what a growth mindset is, why it matters for toddlers, and how you, as a parent, can start shaping your child’s brain for resilience and success—one mess at a time.

What the Heck Is a Growth Mindset?

Let’s break it down. The term “growth mindset” was coined by psychologist Carol Dweck. In a nutshell, it’s the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, good strategies, and help from others.

Now, the opposite? That would be a fixed mindset—thinking that you’re either smart or not, good at something or not, and there’s not much you can do about it. Imagine a toddler thinking, “I’m just not a puzzle person” and walking away forever. Nope, we don’t want that.

We want our kids to say, “Wow, this puzzle is hard… but I’m getting better at it,” and then keep trying. That’s the mindset that helps people bounce back from setbacks, keep learning, and stay emotionally healthy.

Why Start So Young?

Okay, you might be wondering—can toddlers even get this concept? Aren’t they more focused on throwing peas across the room?

True, but here’s the thing: toddlers are spongy little brain machines. They’re constantly picking up cues from how we act, what we say, and how we respond to challenges. If we model a growth mindset, they start internalizing it—even if they can’t say “growth mindset” without cramming peanut butter into their hair.

So yes, starting young gives your child a massive head start.

Signs Your Toddler Might Be Developing a Fixed Mindset

Even in toddlers, you can start to see the early signs of a fixed mindset kicking in. Let’s say your kiddo says:

- “I can’t do it!”
- “I’m not good at this.”
- “It’s too hard!”
- Or worst of all, they just give up before trying.

Sound familiar? These phrases can come out when they’re frustrated with tasks like stacking blocks, tying shoes, or putting on pants (hey, we’ve all had pants-related meltdowns).

But don't panic. This is actually normal toddler behavior. The trick is how we respond to it.

10 Simple Ways to Encourage a Growth Mindset in Your Toddler

1. Praise the Effort, Not Just the Outcome

Instead of “You’re so smart!” try “You worked hard on that tower!” The first one praises a trait, the second one praises effort—which reinforces the idea that success comes from trying, not just being born with talent.

2. Normalize Mistakes

Screwing up is part of learning. Let your toddler see you spill milk, burn toast, or get something wrong—and then calmly fix it. Say something like, “Oops, I made a mistake, but I’ll try again.”

Mistakes should be seen as stepping stones, not roadblocks. That’s how little brains learn to keep going.

3. Use “Yet” Like It’s Magic

Add the word “yet” to their vocabulary.

- “I can’t do this… yet.”
- “You haven’t figured it out… yet.”

That one tiny word shifts the focus from what they can’t do, to what they’re working on. It’s a game changer.

4. Celebrate Micro-Wins

Big achievements are great, but what about the tiny victories? If your toddler tried tying their shoes five times and almost got it—hype that up!

“Wow, you tried again even when it was tough!” Cue confetti (or at least a high five).

5. Model the Behavior You Want to See

We can’t expect our kids to embrace challenges if we crumble every time we have to assemble IKEA furniture. Show them how you face problems. Say out loud: “This is hard… but I know I can figure it out.”

Monkey see, monkey do, right?

6. Let Them Struggle… a Little

It’s tempting to swoop in and fix things right away, but some struggle is good. It teaches patience, persistence, and problem-solving.

Obviously, don’t let them turn into puddles of frustration, but give them a chance to work through things before stepping in.

7. Ask Growth-Focused Questions

Instead of “Did you get it right?” ask:
- “What did you try?”
- “What would you do differently next time?”
- “What did you learn from that?”

These questions get their little brains firing in all the right directions.

8. Read Books About Growth and Challenges

Children’s books are full of stories where characters mess up, try again, and eventually succeed. Look for books that teach resilience, effort, and problem-solving. Bonus—this is cuddle time with life lessons thrown in.

9. Avoid Labels (Even the “Good” Ones)

Saying “You’re so smart” or “You’re a natural” sounds positive, but it can set up pressure that stops them from taking risks.

Instead, focus on what they did to get there: “You figured that out because you kept trying!”

10. Create a Safe Space for Emotions

Toddlers are emotional tornadoes. Instead of shutting down their frustration, validate it: “I see that you’re upset. That was really hard, huh? Let’s try again together.”

Teaching them that it’s okay to feel all the feels is step one in emotional intelligence—and that plays a big role in mindset.

Daily Habits That Reinforce a Growth Mindset

Getting your toddler to develop a growth mindset isn’t about one big conversation or a magical parenting hack. It’s about the little things you do every day.

Some ideas:
- Morning Mantras: Say simple affirmations like, “I can do hard things” or “Mistakes help us grow.”
- Dinner Table Talk: Share your own daily successes and flops. Show them you're learning too.
- Growth Jar: Every time your child tries something tricky, add a pom-pom to a jar. Once it’s full, celebrate!

These routines make growth mindset part of their world, not just a one-time lesson.

The Role of Play in Mindset Building

Toddlers learn best through play. It’s their job, after all. So when they build, draw, climb, role-play, or puzzle-solve, encourage exploration, even if it gets messy.

Let them lead. Ask open-ended questions like, “What happens if you try it this way?” Let them fail softly in their play world—it’s the perfect training ground for bravery and resilience.

What to Do When They Shut Down

Let’s be real: even with all the mindset coaching in the world, your toddler is going to hit walls. And that’s okay.

When they cry, scream, or give up:
- Stay calm: Your job is to be their emotional anchor.
- Acknowledge the frustration: “It’s okay to feel mad. That was tough.”
- Break things down into baby steps: Help simplify the next move.
- Celebrate the comeback: “You didn’t give up, even though you were upset. That’s amazing!”

Every meltdown is a chance for mindset magic. Really.

When You’re Just Too Tired for All This

Hey, parenting is HARD. Some days you’ll feel like a growth mindset ninja. Other days, you’ll hide in the bathroom with your phone just to get five minutes of peace.

That’s normal.

You’re not going to get it perfect every time. But just knowing how powerful this stuff is puts you ahead of the game. Just like your toddler, you’re learning every day too.

So next time you feel like you’ve messed up, just whisper to yourself, “I’m not there… yet.”

Final Thoughts: Grow Alongside Your Toddler

Building a growth mindset in your toddler isn’t about perfection. It’s not about raising little robots who never get frustrated or who always bounce back instantly.

It’s about creating an environment where effort is praised, failure is embraced, and curiosity is encouraged. It’s about modeling the kind of attitude you hope they’ll carry into school, relationships, and life.

Your toddler isn’t just growing in size—they’re growing in mindset too. And thanks to your love, guidance, and patience (even on the messy days), you’re helping them build a foundation that will last a lifetime.

So go ahead—high five yourself. You’re doing better than you think.