How to Support Your Child Through Bullying at School

29 August 2025

Let’s face it—nothing punches you in the gut quite like hearing that your child is being bullied. Your first instincts might be fierce: track down the bully or call the school and demand answers. But as much as we want to protect our little ones with full force, helping them navigate bullying demands more than just raw emotion. It requires empathy, patience, and a game plan.

Let’s walk through how to support your child through bullying at school. Grab a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and let’s unpack this together.

What Exactly Counts as Bullying?

Before diving into the 'how', let’s clarify the 'what'. Bullying isn’t just an argument between kids. It’s about power and repeated, intentional harm. It can show up in different forms:

- Physical: Hitting, kicking, pushing.
- Verbal: Name-calling, threats, teasing.
- Social: Exclusion, rumors, embarrassing someone on purpose.
- Cyberbullying: Using technology (texts, social media, gaming platforms) to harass or humiliate.

The scary part? Bullying doesn’t always leave bruises. Sometimes, it’s silent, hidden in whispers or deleted Snapchat messages. So, being tuned into the signs is the first step.

Spotting the Warning Signs

Kids don’t always come home and say, “Hey, I’m being bullied.” Sometimes they stay quiet because they’re embarrassed or afraid it’ll make things worse.

Here are some red flags to watch for:

- Sudden changes in behavior—clinginess, moodiness, or withdrawal.
- Unexplained injuries or missing items.
- A drop in grades or loss of interest in school.
- Reluctance to go to school or ride the bus.
- Trouble sleeping or frequent headaches/stomachaches.
- Changes in eating habits.

If your child seems “off” and you can’t quite put your finger on it, trust your gut. Kids often give non-verbal cues before they open up.

Start with a Heartfelt Conversation

Okay, so you suspect something’s up... how do you bring it up?

Try not to go full interrogation mode. Instead, ease into the conversation. You might say:

> “You’ve seemed a little down lately—everything okay at school?”

Or:

> “I noticed you haven’t been hanging out with your friends as much. Want to talk about it?”

The goal here is to create a safe space. Don’t freak out if they admit they’re being bullied. Just listen. They need to feel heard and believed before they’ll open up even more.

Keep Your Reactions in Check

Our natural instinct as parents is to leap into protection mode. But here’s the thing—if we overreact, our kids might shut down and not tell us things in the future.

So take a breath. Let them tell their story, step by step. Stay calm, even if your insides are screaming. What your child needs most is your emotional steadiness—not more chaos.

Let Them Know It’s Not Their Fault

Kids sometimes blame themselves. They might think, “If I wasn’t so weird,” or “Maybe if I dressed differently.” These thoughts are heartbreaking, but common.

Make it crystal clear: bullying is never okay, and it’s never their fault. Say it out loud. Often.

Also—and this is important—remind them that asking for help isn’t tattling. It’s problem-solving. It’s brave. That small shift in perspective can make a huge difference.

Role-Play Responses

Practice makes confidence.

One way to help your child feel more in control is by role-playing different scenarios. Think of it like rehearsing a play. Go through what they might say or do when faced with a bully. For example:

- Using a confident voice to say, “Stop. I don’t like that.”
- Walking away with purpose and finding a trusted adult.
- Using humor or deflection to shift the situation.

Make sure they know it’s okay to leave a situation if they feel unsafe. Empowerment doesn’t mean they have to fight back—it means they know how and when to seek safety.

Document Everything

Keep track of incidents. Dates, times, locations, what was said or done, and who was involved. Even if it seems small, log it.

This log becomes gold if you need to escalate things with the school. It lends credibility and shows a pattern.

Also, if cyberbullying is involved, screen capture everything—texts, emails, DMs. Digital proof is powerful.

Partner with the School

You’re not alone in this. Your child spends a good chunk of their day at school, so it’s critical to loop in teachers, counselors, and administrators.

Start by setting up a meeting. Bring your documentation, stay calm, and focus on solutions. Ask:

- What policies are in place for bullying?
- What actions have been taken so far?
- How will they monitor the situation moving forward?
- Can your child have a safe space or buddy system?

Make it collaborative—your role isn’t to accuse but to advocate.

And don’t be afraid to follow up. If things don’t improve or the school brushes off your concerns, escalate to the district or consider seeking legal advice. Your child’s safety is non-negotiable.

Build Emotional Resilience at Home

Bullying can do a number on a child’s self-esteem. That’s where home becomes a sanctuary.

- Spend quality time together. Play a board game, cook, go for a walk—whatever helps them relax and open up.
- Praise their strengths. Remind them of all the things that make them unique and valued.
- Encourage hobbies. Let them find joy and confidence in art, sports, music, or anything they’re passionate about.
- Model empathy and kindness. Kids learn a lot by watching us navigate conflict and stress.

Think of it like watering a plant. With enough love, light, and attention, your child will grow stronger, even if they’ve been bruised.

Teach Digital Literacy (AKA: Head Off Cyberbullies)

Living in the digital age is both a blessing and a curse. Kids are more connected, but they’re also at risk for online cruelty.

Sit down and have “the talk” about cyberbullying. Teach them:

- Not to respond to hurtful messages.
- How to block, mute, or report bullies.
- The importance of screen time boundaries.
- That nothing online is 100% private—think before posting.

Also, keep an open-door policy. Let them know they can come to you without fear of losing their phone or tablet if something happens. Fear of punishment often keeps kids silent.

When Should You Take It Further?

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the bullying doesn’t stop. This is when it’s time to level up your approach.

Here are a few signs it's time to get serious:

- The school isn’t taking it seriously or resolving the issue.
- Your child is showing signs of depression, anxiety, or trauma.
- There's physical harm or threats involved.
- It affects your child’s daily life to a concerning degree.

Options at that point include:

- Writing formal complaints or contacting the school board.
- Filing a police report (if physical harm or threats are involved).
- Seeking support from child advocates or legal professionals.
- Exploring therapy or counseling for your child.

What If Your Child Is the Bully?

Oof. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but it must be said: sometimes the call is coming from inside the house.

If you find out your child is on the other side of the equation, take it seriously. This is not just “kids being kids.” Dig deep and understand the why behind their behavior:

- Are they modeling behavior they’ve seen at home or online?
- Is something going on emotionally that they don’t know how to express?

Talk to them. Set clear boundaries. Involve a therapist if needed. It’s not about punishment—it’s about teaching empathy, responsibility, and character.

Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This

If your child is dealing with bullying, know this: you’re not powerless. You’re their biggest ally. Your love, support, and advocacy will make a difference.

There’s no perfect script or magic wand, but by showing up, staying calm, and being present, you're already doing something incredibly brave—for both you and your child.

Remember: this too shall pass.

They will heal. And so will you.