How to Set Boundaries with Family and Friends as a New Mom

2 June 2025

Becoming a mom is one of the most beautiful, life-changing experiences. But let’s be real—it can also be overwhelming! Between sleepless nights, feeding schedules, and the never-ending laundry, the last thing you need is unsolicited advice or unexpected visits from well-meaning family and friends.

Setting boundaries as a new mom isn’t about being rude or ungrateful—it’s about protecting your peace so you can focus on yourself and your baby. After all, happy mom, happy baby, right? So, let’s dive into how you can set those much-needed boundaries while keeping your relationships intact.

Why Boundaries Matter for New Moms

Let’s be honest—motherhood comes with a ton of expectations, and not just the ones you place on yourself. Everyone has an opinion, and while some advice might be helpful, other times, it can feel like you’re drowning in a sea of unwanted suggestions.

Boundaries help:

✅ Reduce stress and anxiety – You have enough on your plate without feeling pressure from others.

✅ Give you control over your own journey – You’re the mom, and your parenting decisions should be respected.

✅ Protect your mental and emotional well-being – Because a burnt-out mama isn’t good for anyone!

✅ Ensure your time is spent how YOU want – You should decide who visits, when they visit, and how involved they are.

How to Set Boundaries with Family and Friends

Now that we know why boundaries matter, let’s talk about how to actually set them.

1. Be Honest but Kind

There’s a fine line between setting a boundary and offending someone. The key? Honesty with kindness.

Instead of:
👉 "Stop telling me how to parent!"

Try:
👉 "I really appreciate your advice, but I want to figure out what works best for my baby. I’ll let you know if I need help!"

This lets people know that while you value their input, you need space to trust your own instincts.

2. Make Your Needs Crystal Clear

People aren’t mind readers (as much as we wish they were). If you don’t communicate your boundaries clearly, they may not realize they’re crossing them.

For example, if you don’t want unexpected visitors, say something like:
🗣️ "We'd love to have visitors, but please send a text before stopping by so we can make sure it’s a good time."

If you don’t want people kissing the baby (hello, germs! 😷), be direct:
🗣️ "We’re asking everyone to avoid kissing the baby for now to keep them healthy. Thanks for understanding!"

3. Say ‘No’ Without Guilt

Ah, the infamous mom guilt. It sneaks in when you least expect it. But guess what? Saying "no" isn't selfish—it's necessary.

❌ No, you don’t have to attend every family gathering.
❌ No, you don’t have to let someone hold your baby if you’re not comfortable.
❌ No, you don’t have to accept every piece of advice thrown your way.

Try this:
👉 "I’d love to, but I just don’t have the energy right now. Let’s plan for another time!"

A simple, polite, but firm "no" is all you need. No long explanations required!

4. Set Digital Boundaries Too!

We live in the age of social media, which means you might have to set some online boundaries as well.

If you’re not comfortable with people posting pictures of your baby, tell them straight up:
📱 "We’re keeping baby’s pictures private for now. Please don’t share any without our permission!"

And if you're tired of constant messages asking if the baby has arrived yet (seriously, people, we’ll tell you when we’re ready!), consider a blanket message letting everyone know you’ll update when you can.

5. Limit Unwanted Advice

One of the biggest challenges new moms face? Unsolicited advice.

Your aunt, your neighbor, your coworker—everyone suddenly thinks they’re a parenting expert. It’s exhausting!

When faced with this, you can:
✔️ Politely nod and change the subject.
✔️ Say, "That’s interesting! We’re doing things a little differently, but thanks for sharing."
✔️ Set firm boundaries with repeat offenders: "I know you're trying to help, but I need to figure this out my way."

6. Prioritize Rest & Recovery

Listen, mama—you just created a whole human. Your body, mind, and soul need rest.

If visitors are overstaying their welcome and you’re feeling drained, don’t be afraid to wrap things up:
🗣️ "I’m really happy you came, but I need to rest now. Let’s catch up again soon!"

Or, if you need time to adjust before welcoming visitors at all, simply say:
🗣️ "We’re taking some time to settle in before visitors, but we’ll let you know when we’re ready!"

Your comfort comes first. Period.

What to Do If Someone Ignores Your Boundaries

Unfortunately, some people just don’t listen.

If you’ve set a boundary and someone keeps pushing, stand your ground:
🚧 Repeat your boundary – Sometimes, people need reminders.
🚧 Be firm – If they don’t respect your rules, let them know it's non-negotiable.
🚧 Limit their involvement – If they continue to disregard your wishes, it’s okay to take a step back.

Your baby, your rules. No exceptions.

Maintaining Boundaries Without Damaging Relationships

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about ensuring healthy, respectful relationships.

Here’s how you can keep the peace:

❤️ Express gratitude – Let them know you appreciate their love and support.
❤️ Compromise when it feels right – Some flexibility can go a long way.
❤️ Keep lines of communication open – Make sure they know it’s about your well-being, not them personally.

The people who truly care about you will understand. And those who don’t? Well, that’s their problem—not yours!

Final Thoughts

Setting boundaries as a new mom is an absolute must. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

You deserve a peaceful, stress-free transition into motherhood. So don’t be afraid to speak up, protect your space, and do what’s best for you and your little one.

You’ve got this, mama!